As an experienced wedding celebrant I spend a lot of time writing wedding ceremonies so I know that your wedding vows are arguably the most important part of your wedding. In Australian wedding ceremonies saying your vows is the point when you are actually married so it is important that your vows have meaning for you. With this in mind many couples choose to personalise or even write their wedding vows, but often find it to be harder than they thought.
Sitting down to write your vows can be a daunting task especially if you don�t know what you can and can�t include, how long they need to be or even what you want to say. Your wedding celebrant will be able to offer you guidance on how to write your vows and what is legally required. Below are a few important tips to get you started:-
1. You and your partner need to discuss what you want in your vows.
Do you want both want to write your own vows? Do you want to say the same vows or express yourselves individually? It is quite acceptable for you to have different vows. In some cases one partner (usually the Bride) will write their vows and the other will either use traditional vows or personalise vows they have found elsewhere. There are lots of examples to choose from in books, on the internet, in the sample provided by your wedding celebrant or at www.vividmemories.com.au. In cases where only one partner is writing their vows from scratch I recommend that the other party personalises their vows so it is not really obvious that they have chosen not to write their own.
2. What tone do you want?
The tone of your ceremony will usually be reflected in your vows. If you have chosen a very sentimental and romantic ceremony then your vows will usually reflect that. The same goes for funny vows or serious vows. It�s entirely up to you what tone you want to have, just try to make sure your that tone of your vows suit you as a couple. This will make them sound like they are heartfelt and true.
3. How long do you want your vows to be?
In Australia there is a legal sentence that you are required to include so that your marriage will be valid, but other than that your vows can be as long or as short as you choose. Your wedding celebrant will advise you on the legal requirements of your vows. Another point to keep in mind is that you will need to say your vows, so if you are uncomfortable speaking in front of others then shorter may be better. Also remember your guests; if your vows are too long your guests will tune out regardless of how lovely the words are.
4. What are the most important parts of your relationship?
Think about what is special and important about your relationship and include it in your vows. Is it that your partner is your best friend? Is it the way they support you and help you be the best you can be? Whatever it is mentioning it in your vows will make them more meaningful for you.
5. Think about the promises you wish to make to your partner.
The promises that you make to each other in your vows will form the basis of your marriage. Your marriage will continue long after the honeymoon and it is your vows and how you uphold them that will shape your marriage on a daily basis. So think about your relationship now and how you want your marriage to be and use this to decide on the promises you want to include in your vows. There are no right or wrong promises as every relationship is different, so decide what feels right for the two of you.
Your wedding vows are the centre of your wedding and your marriage, so it is important that you take the time to make them as special as your relationship.
Megan Wilson is an authorised and accredited civil wedding celebrant who can design a modern ceremony tailored specifically to meet your needs. For more tips and information about civil ceremonies find me at http://www.vividmemories.com.au
Megan Wilson - Brisbane Wedding Celebrant visit me at vividmemories.com.au
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